Friday, October 9, 2009

The Root of all Swinging: I do not want to become my mother

I love my mom.  She's a real-woman's Martha Stewart.  Knows how to go to the grocery store, shop with a budget, and come home with enough groceries for the next seven days and have ingredients for different meals.  Unlike me, who goes to the market (with a list), yet comes home with four cases of coke zero, a case of Perrier, fruit, vegetables, eggs, salsa and peanut M & M's.  I don't realize until 6:00 p.m. that I forgot to think about what I am actually going to make for dinner.  Shit!  So, I serve either Paul Newman's frozen pizza (which I love) or scrambled eggs.

From my mom's eyes, I am a total mess.  Sure, I'm fun to be with.  But "my poor husband," "he deserves better." I should make more of an effort to be a better "housewife."

This morning I asked her to drive my kids to school and she said she had to take a full-shower (hair washed, curled) and also apply make-up (foundation up).  I am shuttering to think about these wacked out priorities!!!

Here's my fear.  I do not want to live in a box and be boring (like my sweet mother).  She is so consumed with taking care of us, she's lost all perspective on the dynamic person she has buried inside of her.  I am sure she and my dad have Suburban Sex (how gross is that thought?).

So, I'm going to blame her for my indiscrepancies.  Which I wouldn't label them that, by the way.  I'll lump her in with society for such a term.

Here's how my day is going to go today.  I'm going to eat ultra lean & healthy today. Get my nails done. Take a nap.  Shower & blow-dry later in the day so I will be fresh for my big night out.  Pre-pack a "party bag."  We've got a Tantra party we are going to, so I'll be packing a different outfit to change into as well as some sexy toys.  Lots of preparation.  It won't be worth the effort if I am exhausted.

So, instead of Jake coming home to apple streudel (okay, my mom did make this for him last night), he'll be coming home to sexy, shaven, manicured Mimi.  Ready to party.   Everybody wins.  It takes effort to keep the spark ignited.  It's not just about living inside of your house and making it a home (although this is important, too).

I see so many women forget that a marriage is supposed to be meaningful and rewarding.  It's the ultimate relationship.  I've said before, even if you are unhappy in your marriage, there was a time when you had hormones flaring.  It's essential to remember the steps you took to keep the flame burning.  It's about sexy.  We should never become too old or consumed to cater to that side of ourselves.  It's a gift we give to ourselves as well as our mate.

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