Saturday, October 24, 2009

The War of the Roses

It's such a sad, common sight.  Couples who have it all.  The American Dream -- financial security, beautiful children, new purebread puppy.  What do thy lay in bed thanking God for?  I know, do you?  It's not health, happiness or wealth.   He's thankful for strip clubs, waitresses with long legs and short skirts, cleavage.......She's thankful he's in Europe.  

Many of our friends fit this profile.  They just can't see what they have.  Or once had.  Their vision is clouded by the sight of homework.  Sick kids.  A house that never seems clean enough.  She turns to champagne and TiVo for stimulation.  And I already told you where he is.

I want to get to the root of this plague so I can wipe it out.  Jake and I find it so tough to mingle with this breed.  Isn't the answer simple?  It's not about sex.  Well, maybe it is a little bit.  I think it's more about....Never mind.  It's definitely about sex.  It's the one word solution?  Maybe.  I can't imagine that anyone would take on a partner that didn't at least once rock their world with just a kiss, a touch, or for the rest of us, a banging night of sex.  It had to have happened for anyone to be together.  I'll argue this point all day long.

What happens to cause people to lose this feeling?  I had a communications class in college where I learned something I'll never ever forget.  The professor told us that marriage is work.  It's a full-time job.  You can't come home from work and become your rude, lazy slobby self.  You have to put as much work into your relationship as you do into your career.  You can argue that true love shouldn't be work, it should come naturally.  Just like childbirth, right?

What's the problem, friends?  Where does the romance go?


  1. In short: Romance is not necessary, in my mind. It's a stimulant, but relegated to the backburners when there are other competing, "practical" interests/demands.

    It's all good to theorize it, but I think it's probably not fruitful to try and point one issue as the dominant cause for, say, unhappy marriages.

    Unfortunately, and fortunately, at the same time, each couple is different.

  2. Good point. And I do agree, every couple is unique. But I do think it's sad that the "practical" demands seen to devour the personal needs. To me, it's right up there with food, shelter and clothing. Love and touch are basic needs. I cannot imagine a union of any type where there wasn't at least a spark at the inception. It's hard to keep the spark ignited, but I think it's as essential as the basics.